good shit.
good words.
Aly: What was that show we used to watch?
Me: What show?
Aly: We'd watch it at like three in the morning, a little kid's show. Grandpa's Neighborhood?

Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't...NOTHING?

Rube: What you're feeling right now, the rage and frustration all knotted together, binding everything from your head to your digestive tracks? That's my life with you.

George: I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed. Bad people are punished by society's law, and good people are punished by Murphy's law.

Roxy: You know what your problem is? You wake up every morning wondering what the world's gonna do for you, wondering who's gonna bend over backwards, kiss your ass and make you happy when you should just thank God for another day and leave it the fuck at that.

Me: Can you imagine having anal bleeding for three years?
Aly: I can't imagine having it for three minutes.

Aly: you hAVE A GREEP ASS ON THE OHOPNEKTI NDJHTEKLJ LOOK HOW FAST I CAN TYPE NOTHING! KLJASKLDJF KLASDFASF NMJ F

Rube: Well, you really fucked the dog, Peanut.

Rube: You like spaghetti, George? I like spaghetti. I like board games. I like grabbing a trifecta with that long shot on top... that ozone smell you get from air purifiers... and I like knowing the space between my ears is immeasurable... Mahler's first, Bernstein conducting. You've got to think about all the things you like and decide whether they're worth sticking around for. And if they are, you'll find a way to do this.
George: And what if I don’t?
Rube: Then you go away, and you don't get to like anything anymore.

George: What would happen if everybody died?
Mason: What do you mean?
George: Like if we were the only ones left
Mason: Oh, like if the frogs ate everyone on the planet?
George: Yeah.
Mason: I reckon we'd be shoveling a lot of frog shit.

Mason: Did you see that? I mean just because I wanted some of her hashbrowns.
Rube: I was there.
Mason: I've never seen such violence over such small potatoes.
Rube: Oh, that was almost clever.
Mason: What was almost clever?
Rube: The thing about the hashbrowns being small potatoes.
Mason: I don't get it because hashbrowns are small potatoes.
Rube: Never mind.

Me: Have you heard Vibrate, by Rufus Wainwright?
Eva: Is it about sex toys?

G.O.B.: But it’s not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
G.O.B.: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite. It’s... it’s like my heart is getting hard.

Peter Griffin: You know, some people think that dandelions are weeds, but, you know, I always think, who the hell decided tulips were so great?

Lucille: You boys know how to shovel coal?
Narrator: I don’t even want to tell you what these guys thought that meant.

Maeby: Oh, hey, Michael. My dad wanted me to thank you for the romantic getaway. Don’t tell me what that means.
Michael: Where is your dad?
Maeby: He left dressed all westerny. You can leave me out of that part, too.
Michael: I screwed my brother-in-law.
Maeby: Well, I’m all grown up now.

Flagg: One joe refuses to fight and it catches on...you know what we have on our hands?
BJ: Peace?

Conan O'Brien: When all else fails, you always have delusion.
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    Yeah...I'm going friends only. if you want to read it for whatever reason, you know what to do.